2023 was the fastest year of my life. I do not have much existential dread. This December, however, I am suddenly scared that the years will keep accelerating, that decades will start to feel like weeks. How can anyone accomplish anything of substance in one week? On that uplifting note, I bring you a summary of how I felt each month this year. All feelings, few facts. I don’t know which would be more substantial. This is the closest thing to poetry I ever intend to write. Which is to say, this is evidence that I should not be a poet. I also included a photo from each month.
January
Optimistically sluggish, unhealthy but hopeful. Redefining what love means and the kind of work relationships take.
February
Determined to try, even when things are not working. Embracing the moment, curious, shameful.
March
Heartbroken, terrified. Nervous about the future, misdirected, unsteady. Extremely regretful.
April
Torn between two very different lives. Sad but strong. Aware I’m making the right choices but upset about making them.
May
Home. Nostalgic and determined. Excited to live alone, overwhelmed by how to manage it. Social, free.
June
Drained and ready for a break, sober. Determined to build a life and deepen my friendships.
July
Optimistic, shameful but excited about returning to school. Casually dating, embracing freedom, allowing myself experiences to write about them later.
August
Recharged and relaxed. Rested. Off the grid, hot in every way.
September
Ready to settle, excited about love and the idea of a new partner. Smug, motivated. Very honest.
October
Angry, defeated, pathetic. Ashamed of repeating old patterns, appreciative that they felt different.
November
Social, redefining priorities, thankful, concerned. Lonely.
December
Better habits, close friends. Content but fearful. I’ve made a lot of bets and hope at least some of them pay off.
Here’s to 2024. I hope it’s a little less of a ride.
I love you so much!
Hannah
Love how you managed to condense your capture on the months into just a few sentences- inspired me to do the same for my 2023. So happy to see the positive trendline :) I had a similar year.... 2024 is for us!
Shoutout to me who is in not one but TWO pics (the polaroids) & the shot at my baby shower!!! Love you!! A fabulous year of growth. Don’t event recognize that girl from January!