Recently, I was with an inappropriate man in an inappropriate place.
By that, I mean that I was with a man who does not want what I say that I want (to be married and have children) in a place that was not conducive to me getting what I want (I was at his apartment).
This is the best advice I have: decide what you want and then only do things, in that area of your life, that get you closer to those goals. If you want to be married and you want to have children, date stable, commitment oriented people who want the same things. Eventually, you will almost certainly find a person who you love and are compatible with and you will almost certainly settle down and have children.
If you want a marriage and family, you should not drink too many Negronis and start whispering naughty things to eternal bachelor types. It is not a formula for success! So why am I always at a bar with a bachelor drinking Negronis and crooning about how I like strong arms? Why do I meet appropriate, nice guys and immediately stop answering their messages?
“If you wanted a normal life, with a normal house, and normal kids and a normal husband, you would have it,” my best friend said to me on the phone last week, “that isn’t a difficult thing to have. If you wanted it, you’d have it. So I don’t think that’s what you want.”
All of this to say, this Sunday I was in a friend’s home and I glanced at myself in a mirror and I realized that I do not want to get married again. (I reserve the right to change my mind about this with similar impulse.)