Thank you Melanie! I really appreciate that because I am ambivalent and somewhat embarrassed about these feelings but I also think if I feel this way someone else does also, probably. Really appreciate you!! 💕💕💕
You need to stop calling it for yourself. You have no hard proof that you will be single forever. You’re counting yourself out for no reason. Chin up! These men are all boring mongrels anyway 😘😂
Ahh thank you! But also I did not intend for this to come across that way, I actually meant I am not willing to come to terms with that possibility or consider much what life would look like if it happened 😅😅😘😘
Hannah, this is your niche. Your blonde lady problems are my redhead lady problems. You said the words that I feel deepest. Thank you for letting me know I’m not as alone as I feel.
“I function best in the company of others, in a family.” This resonates so much for me! I got divorced in 2023 after my ex had an affair and very quickly I realized I didn’t miss him, I missed sharing a home and a life with someone, being a family everyday.
In response to your photo question, not hardly and you seem like a wonderful woman. Even being a male I actually relate to some of your feelings. Most of my best friends have been women. Someone to do those little things with. And the bigger things like travel or weekend adventures that only seem to work with a partner. Nice dinners out and the theater or concert. I miss it, too. Is hard some days. Peace.
I LOVE this! I’m older than you and am still battling this—well-intentioned friends say things like, “but you need to be comfortable being alone” or “lean into your own life,” and I’m like, JUST STAAAP.
I am comfortable with myself. I love my life. I am confident about my value and not willing to compromise in many substantial ways in order to find partnership. I have an overflowing life. AND ALSO—I am a grown-ass woman and I know myself. I know I’m happier when in a commitment, healthy, romantic/sexual relationship, and nothing about that negates my self-confidence or independence.
I’m cheering you on from over here.
I also co-host a live podcast called The Daily Whatever Show and I’d love to have you on to talk about this story, if you’re willing/able. Let me know!
“haven’t heard much from anyone else in the mortifying middle.” This, ten thousand times over.
I think there’s something very vulnerable indeed in acknowledging that you crave something you don’t have - particularly something that you have so little control over having. I often have a voice in my head that says - you should know better than to think a man will solve [all of] your problems. You’re a feminist, you make enough money, you have wonderful friends - you don’t *need* someone.
And yet….isn’t yearning for companionship perhaps the most human emotion of all? My heart also palpitates when I think about being alone forever…and it isn’t something your friends can do much to comfort you on (and, bless them, many a coupled friend has actually stomped all over my feelings with things like “It’ll happen when you least expect it” or “you have to love yourself first).
So - you are not the only woman who feels this way. Thank you for your writing.
Your essays are beautiful, Hannah!! Your honesty and openness encourage me to look at my life a bit differently each time I read your work.
Hold out for love!! I believe the universe places a desire in our hearts when it can help us fulfill it. 💕
I don’t know if stories will help- but in my case, I already knew him. I was very independent, a bit flighty, and loved my life. Then I got very sick and was in bed 90% of the time. I stopped thinking about dating. I loved dating, but never fell hard for guys and broke up with everyone, always on amicable terms.
A while later an acquaintance from college randomly asked me to see the Book of Mormon with him. It was a few years after graduating. Dirk’s friend gave him 2 tickets that morning. I almost said no, but friends made me go. After a while I realized it felt like I knew him from another life. One day when I was throwing up, I blurted out that I loved him. We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary.
This may land differently since I was in my 20s, but I truly feel like the universe said “here is your soulmate.” I thought my life was over when I got so sick. But ironically, if I had kept traveling, I wouldn’t have crossed paths again with Dirk. I think there’s some magic in life that way. I really believe that magic will find you.
I think of life as a bar chart. each bar is a one of life's checkpoints (health, wealth, kids, partner, beauty, family..etc). i think each one of us gets some of each category & it corresponds to how tall the bar is. one person may have a long 'wealth' bar but no family. or someone may have beauty but no health. someone may be average in all, some may miss one or two. we're all different. it is important to be content with what we have so we don't spiral in a pit of despair. it doesn't mean we shouldn't work towards what we want, but don't let desire consume you so that your heart aches with obsession and completely blinds you from the blessings you have. when that happens you become a bitter person. i hope you find that special man one day. but also don't worry. rest your heart
If you’re willing to share would you be inspired to elaborate on the last bit? You are asking your readers if we think it’s possible and I find your questions interesting and like you’re trying to work out something with yourself and I am going through something similar. I say yes to all of the above and if you feel called to it would love a piece exploring your feelings and observations in whatever capacity works.
this was such a beautiful read Hannah. I enjoyed every word 🥹❤️
Thank you so much for your words and for reading, Faizah! 💕
Well written as always.🙏🥰
Love you ❤️
thank you!! Love you!!
This was a deep cut. Thank you for your words that somehow felt like they were also in my brain 🥹
Thank you Melanie! I really appreciate that because I am ambivalent and somewhat embarrassed about these feelings but I also think if I feel this way someone else does also, probably. Really appreciate you!! 💕💕💕
🤍🤍🤍
Love you and your words dear Hannah
Love you so much and I miss you!!
You need to stop calling it for yourself. You have no hard proof that you will be single forever. You’re counting yourself out for no reason. Chin up! These men are all boring mongrels anyway 😘😂
Ahh thank you! But also I did not intend for this to come across that way, I actually meant I am not willing to come to terms with that possibility or consider much what life would look like if it happened 😅😅😘😘
Lovely writing, as always. Hits home in so many ways
Thank you, Rachel 🩷🩷🩷
Hannah, this is your niche. Your blonde lady problems are my redhead lady problems. You said the words that I feel deepest. Thank you for letting me know I’m not as alone as I feel.
“I function best in the company of others, in a family.” This resonates so much for me! I got divorced in 2023 after my ex had an affair and very quickly I realized I didn’t miss him, I missed sharing a home and a life with someone, being a family everyday.
Ahhh the pain of being self aware! I annoy the hell out of myself sometimes! I feel your pain!
In response to your photo question, not hardly and you seem like a wonderful woman. Even being a male I actually relate to some of your feelings. Most of my best friends have been women. Someone to do those little things with. And the bigger things like travel or weekend adventures that only seem to work with a partner. Nice dinners out and the theater or concert. I miss it, too. Is hard some days. Peace.
I LOVE this! I’m older than you and am still battling this—well-intentioned friends say things like, “but you need to be comfortable being alone” or “lean into your own life,” and I’m like, JUST STAAAP.
I am comfortable with myself. I love my life. I am confident about my value and not willing to compromise in many substantial ways in order to find partnership. I have an overflowing life. AND ALSO—I am a grown-ass woman and I know myself. I know I’m happier when in a commitment, healthy, romantic/sexual relationship, and nothing about that negates my self-confidence or independence.
I’m cheering you on from over here.
I also co-host a live podcast called The Daily Whatever Show and I’d love to have you on to talk about this story, if you’re willing/able. Let me know!
Very nicely said.
“haven’t heard much from anyone else in the mortifying middle.” This, ten thousand times over.
I think there’s something very vulnerable indeed in acknowledging that you crave something you don’t have - particularly something that you have so little control over having. I often have a voice in my head that says - you should know better than to think a man will solve [all of] your problems. You’re a feminist, you make enough money, you have wonderful friends - you don’t *need* someone.
And yet….isn’t yearning for companionship perhaps the most human emotion of all? My heart also palpitates when I think about being alone forever…and it isn’t something your friends can do much to comfort you on (and, bless them, many a coupled friend has actually stomped all over my feelings with things like “It’ll happen when you least expect it” or “you have to love yourself first).
So - you are not the only woman who feels this way. Thank you for your writing.
Your essays are beautiful, Hannah!! Your honesty and openness encourage me to look at my life a bit differently each time I read your work.
Hold out for love!! I believe the universe places a desire in our hearts when it can help us fulfill it. 💕
I don’t know if stories will help- but in my case, I already knew him. I was very independent, a bit flighty, and loved my life. Then I got very sick and was in bed 90% of the time. I stopped thinking about dating. I loved dating, but never fell hard for guys and broke up with everyone, always on amicable terms.
A while later an acquaintance from college randomly asked me to see the Book of Mormon with him. It was a few years after graduating. Dirk’s friend gave him 2 tickets that morning. I almost said no, but friends made me go. After a while I realized it felt like I knew him from another life. One day when I was throwing up, I blurted out that I loved him. We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary.
This may land differently since I was in my 20s, but I truly feel like the universe said “here is your soulmate.” I thought my life was over when I got so sick. But ironically, if I had kept traveling, I wouldn’t have crossed paths again with Dirk. I think there’s some magic in life that way. I really believe that magic will find you.
I think of life as a bar chart. each bar is a one of life's checkpoints (health, wealth, kids, partner, beauty, family..etc). i think each one of us gets some of each category & it corresponds to how tall the bar is. one person may have a long 'wealth' bar but no family. or someone may have beauty but no health. someone may be average in all, some may miss one or two. we're all different. it is important to be content with what we have so we don't spiral in a pit of despair. it doesn't mean we shouldn't work towards what we want, but don't let desire consume you so that your heart aches with obsession and completely blinds you from the blessings you have. when that happens you become a bitter person. i hope you find that special man one day. but also don't worry. rest your heart
If you’re willing to share would you be inspired to elaborate on the last bit? You are asking your readers if we think it’s possible and I find your questions interesting and like you’re trying to work out something with yourself and I am going through something similar. I say yes to all of the above and if you feel called to it would love a piece exploring your feelings and observations in whatever capacity works.