Someday you will need a friend. You will find yourself confused and scared and sad and in a situation where you are not sure if you are losing your mind or if everyone around you has lost their minds. I do not wish for you to be in a situation like that, of course. But someday you will be, it is a part of the human experience. A part of the female experience. People go broke gradually and then all of a sudden. Most bad situations happen the same way. And when you find yourself in a bad situation, you need to call a friend.
You need to call a real friend. But to make that call, you need to have that friend. You need someone who loves you and who knows your flaws. Someone who will be direct and honest and only sugar coat as much as is absolutely necessary for your mental health. You will need to call her and when you call you need to tell her exactly what is happening. You need to tell her the cruel words spoken by the man you thought was your lover. You need to reveal your own indignities, mistakes, and harsh words. And then you need to ask her what to do and when she tells you, you must listen. You must trust her enough to know to listen to her when you do not trust yourself. You need a friend who will speak to you when you cannot hear yourself.
Of course it is very very difficult to be in a situation where you do not trust yourself and do not know which way is up. It is difficult to make a phone call and ask a friend to be very honest with you. But the most difficult and most important part, I think, is making sure you have that friend.