I want to apologize for my absence last week- I was very sick and that made my (hopefully soon to be officially diagnosed) autoimmune issues flare up. I will not let it happen again but I do want to feel empowered to take sick leave when I need it. I hope you enjoy today’s letter- it really is a letter. I love you! xx HD
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My Girls,
Society has been gaslighting you. I promise. I know because I was gaslit too. And I ended up on the other side confused and angry and happy and confident and relieved.
When I was a much younger woman- in my early and mid-twenties- I felt very strongly that I was in a race against the clock to find a husband. I knew that I wanted to be married and in a settled monogamous relationship. I was searching for the security that I did not have as a child. I do not mean, or I at least do not only mean, financial security. Though finding a partner with a stable income and general ambition was important to me, I craved a safe home with a partner who would be there for me emotionally and physically during the ups and downs of life. I wanted very much to be that for someone else as well. And I felt very strongly that the clock was ticking- I felt that if I hit thirty- or even was around the corner from thirty- men would think I was too old, too desperate, that my biological clock was ticking too quickly, and that my attractiveness was tied entirely to my youth.
And now I am 32, single and childless. And I have never been more popular.